Questions and Answers

A friend needed help with his thesis on blogging and since, I am gonna answer it anyway, I just decided to post it here na lang - parang Formspring lang, di ba. Hehe. If you write in English and you have time to spare, please check this out and do the needful.

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Name: Tristan Tan
Blog URL: www.tristantales.com
Age: 29 (but turning 25 soon)
Gender: M
Educational Attainment: Post Grad
High School: Isko
College: Isko

Why did you start blogging?

I led a very exciting life in Manila so I had a lot of stories to tell. A blogger friend suggested that I write my tales - so I did. There was no turning back since.

How long have you been blogging?

One year and five months. But, it feels like forever.

Why did you choose to blog in English?

I thought I had a problem writing in Filipino.

What is the nature of your blog?

It was a gay sex blog to begin with. I tell my sex stories and that was it. I never thought that I'd be writing on other things as well. These days, I write about sex, love, romance. I also rant, every now and then but, hey, who doesn't? I almost never write about work.

How many blogs do you maintain?

Two. This one and another emo blog for occasional ultimate heartbreak posts.

How often do you read other people's blog?

Daily. But, I keep a very streamlined list.

Do you keep track of your followers? How many followers do you have?

Yes, I do have a tracker. I have 171 public followers. I am sure there dozens more lurking in the shadows.

Do you comment on other blogger's grammar?

Sometimes. If it's really really bad, I don't even bother reading it.

In the last six months, what is the average number of comments you receive per post?

This blog is not comment-driven, meaning I don't write to generate comments. I can say I get at least 5 comments per post.

Do you receive comments/criticisms about your writing style and grammar?

I do. There used to be this blogger who dissects (edits) other peoples' writing. I think that was useful.

Do you receive comments/criticisms about your choice of words?

Not really. I think people who read me already know that to expect so they are rarely surprised by my choice of words. As a personal rule, I rarely use big words (and I know this is relative but you get the drift...). I ensure that I write in simple and conversational English.

Do you receive comments/criticisms about the relevance of your chosen post topic?

Not really - the relevance of my posts to other peoples' lives is not a primary consideration. People who read me are aware that this blog is about me so my posts are only relevant to me. If some people are able to identify with or relate to what I write then so be it. But, people will always have something to say about what I write and that's where the comments/criticisms come in.

If so, do you take them into consideration or do you give the leave-me-alone-this-is-my-blog-i'm-gona-write-what-i-want-to-write attitude?

This question does not necessarily relate to the one before it but, I think I understand what you mean.

I wish I could ignore what other people say but, truth is, I can't write about anything without feeling that what I write would and could have an effect on some people. What I write also reflects on me and I hate being judged for the fraction of me that I share online. So, I try to strike a balance between TMI and honesty.

Has your writing style changed since you started blogging? In what way?

Yes. I used to feel less confident with my story-telling skills. I think I have become better at this compared to when I was just starting. The writing styles has improved as well. I can now write from different perspectives and using different techniques.

I Remember the Boy

I was browsing through old posts when I came across someone's dead blog. Wherever it is, may it rest in peace. It was his blog... As far as the blogger is concerned, it has been almost a year since our lives have intertwined - a lot has happened since. Needless to say, I was reminded of the boy but, the thing is, I barely know him anymore. Truth is, I don't really know him, period.

I can't even remember the hurt, I just remember the boy and who he was a year ago. I think I must have finally gotten over it. Congratulations to me. I don't cringe anymore when I see his name. I don't freak out when I remember what happened. I still dream of him from time to time - don't ask me how but I do - and that's just about there is to it. Probably, because we never got to meet.

A year after all the drama, I think I have become a different person. I have learned to somehow separate my online alter ego from my offline person. I have learned how to stop typing what I think (and feel) all the time. I have learned to hold back. I have learned to think before saying anything. I finally understood self-restraint - somehow. I have minimized drama (minimize, not eliminate). I also learned how to live for the moment - that I cannot always plan for the future.

I learned that karma is indeed digital. I learned that we do not always get what we want. I learned that love is a two-way street. I learned that love is not always enough. I learned that some stories do not have happy endings. I learned that there are no shortcuts to friendship - no matter how much you claim that you will be friends forever. I learned that the truth has an expiration date. I learned that I could really keep the secrets worth keeping.

I have become less trusting - which, for me, is a good thing. I have been more realistic when it comes to expectations. I have become less confrontational. I learned to accept that, most of the time, good things never last. I learned that the best way to get over someone is to shut up and deal with things by yourself. I learned that I am much stronger than I think I am.

Since I am just about ready to board a homebound plane, I can't help but wonder if we'd finally be able to meet. I am not counting on it - and maybe it would never happen in this lifetime but, it would sure be nice to catch up over a friendly cup of coffee.

Hey Bad Boy, what do you think?