Tonight, I finally decided to put up my Christmas tree. I wanted to be happy and Christmas is the time to be happy, right? I needed something to look forward to. I needed my Christmas to come early.
I felt so confused when I shopped for ornaments earlier. I knew I wanted white but I was attracted to browns, oranges, greens. I even considered red for crying out loud! Such is my desire to be happy. I continued my search. I wanted that one color that could represent my feelings well. I stopped for a while and admired the blue tree on display. I closed my eyes and confirmed the harsh truth - I am still blue so blue it is, once again.
My tree last year was already blue - balls, lights, flowers, everything! I had just gotten out of another failed relationship several months earlier and it seemed but logical to use depressing shades of blue to mark another depressing Christmas. It seems not much has changed this year.
As I watched the white lights twinkle on my tree adorned with blue ornaments, I pondered on the irony of it all.
Christmas should be happy but why is this tree blue?
I felt my hands tremble and my heart rip as I figured out the answer to my own question.
I am still nobody, nobody still cares, and I am blue.
6 stamps:
no one's a nobody dude.
somewhere, somehow you must have touched someone.
so just chill and enjoy what life can offer. :-)
it is okay... just take it as it is... for now... and when you feel you had enough.. go as far as you can see.. pursue what your heart always longed for..
isipin mo na lang mas malungkot kung ang christmas tree mo ay RED pero you still feel blue...
tap o your shoulder... madaming nag cacare sa iyo, ibang level lang siguro ang hinahanap mo...
i hate your last line, T.
@everyone
sorry guys - last night was just another moment of weakness and extreme vulnerability. no need to worry, im fine now. love my tree! ;)
"I am still nobody, nobody still cares, and I am blue."
Buti naman at okey ka na. Kasi kung hindi ka pa okey, eh di ito ang para sa iyo: *SLAAAAAPPPPP!* Ummm! (in a very Celia Rodriguez mode)
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