Kuya

"Tristan, you need to call your dad", it was my mom.

I felt cold all over. My hands were shaking. 

"What could have possibly happened?", I asked myself.

As I dialed the number on my mobile, I felt tears form. For the first time in months, I was afraid of something. I was scared of the truth.

"We have a problem...", my dad started explaining.

"Your sister's sick.", he continued.

My mind went blank. I wanted throw up.

"Oh no, not again..." I muttered.

"Do you need me there?", I asked in my most unaffected tone.

"No, there's no need for you to come home. We just wanted to let you know...", my dad explained.

Hearing that, I immediately packed my bags and decided to go home.

"I am stubborn Tristan", I reminded myself.

I slept through the trip hoping that when I wake up at my destination, everything would just turn out to be a bad dream. I am an escapist by nature and I tried to escape this one even if I know that I cannot. I stopped for a while and took a deep breath before finally taking that first step home.

"Everything will be alright Tristan", I tried to comfort myself.

A few minutes later, I was already face to face with my dad. It was obvious that he had been crying. His voice trembled every time he gave me the details of the problem. It was then that I confirmed that we really did have a problem. 

"Oh no...", I panicked inside.

"Don't worry dad, I will take over", I assured him if only to temper his emotions.

Mom arrived with my sister a few hours later. Mom looked tired and worried. 

"Don't worry mom, I'm here...", I lovingly told her.

The look in my sister's eyes told me that she was not there. She looked like my sister and she sounded like her too but she was not the same person. She was pale and sickly. She was my sister, only she was not. I tried to control my tears, for her sake, for my parent's sake... for my sake.

"I hate this", I exclaimed.

But I was helpless. We were all helpless. I made the decision on my parents behalf. I tried to be calm and collected. Cool but decisive. Unaffected and impersonal. But deep inside, I was in an extreme state of shock, fright and panic. I searched my phone for help. I found several people whom I know will help me get through this. I found friends - life friends.

"I am still blessed", I whispered.

Today was not about how many difficult and painful decisions had to be made nor was it about how many people I know. Today perfectly showed me how blessed I am to have a good family and loving friends who will always be there to help me get through life's extreme lows. I rediscovered the strength I had inside and finally accepted the role I was born to play - to take over.

To all my friends who had been there in various capacities today, 

"I am and will be forever indebted to all of you. Thank you."

To my family who is worried that things will never be the same, 

"We will get through this together."

To my sister who is now struggling, 

"Don't worry, Kuya will make sure everything will be alright."