Change of Heart (or so I thought)

It was already dark when I woke up. As if by habit, I opened my windows and looked at the city skyline in front of me. It looked like it did for the last several nights - buildings still randomly lit, the dark silhouette of city trees added a sense of gloom to the starless night. The moon was nowhere to found. I, much like the night, felt cold and empty. 

"What is this phase I am going through?", I whispered to myself.

I realized I was alone. I looked around the room. It was silent. I started to plan out my night. I thought of options to amuse myself. I scoured online for things to do; something that could get my mind of the fact that I was bored. I looked at the clock. It was still early to party. I was stuck. 

I decided to go back to bed. I took my phone in my hand and started browsing for friends. I found a few. I decided not to call them. I needed time to think by myself. I closed my eyes and whispered a silent prayer. 

I opened my eyes in a dark room. I then realized that I may have dozed off for a few minutes while figuring out what was going on. Apparently, I have forgotten to turn on the lights when I stood up earlier. Only the flicker of lights from the nearby modem now illuminated the whole room. I gazed at the lights that blinked every so often. I turned on the television set to take my mind off soul searching. 

I was pleasantly amused by the news. Between clips, I found myself going back to my default mode - I was back to thinking. I stood up. I opened the refrigerator hoping to find something sweet. I saw a piece of chocolate from way back. I looked at it and immediately computed how many calories went into that one small piece. I cringed. I opened the pack anyway and slowly devoured its content. Every single bite felt like heaven. The bitterness of the chocolate slowly faded away with the water I sipped.

I heard my phone rang. I walked over to get it from my bed. I took a quick look at the screen and saw the name of the person who I was with a couple of weeks back. I decided to take the call. The voice on the other line was being drowned by the sound of vehicles around him. He asked were I was. I replied. He laughed and inquired why I was not out partying. I told him I had just woken up. He wanted us to meet. I thought for a while and replied, 

"Not tonight..."

We hung up. I then remembered that a friend recently asked me if I was not yet seeking a steady partner. I felt confused. Why is this person asking me if I was already prepared to settle down once again? This was the same friend who complained that when I was still living with someone, I was always nowhere to be found. 

I then realized that this maybe the reason for what I was going through. I may have had enough of the casual hook ups and temporary bliss. My soul may already be longing to be with someone again. My heart may already be telling me that I should start taking it seriously. I heard my stomach growl.

"Oh... so that's it!", I figured.

I heard my phone ring again. It was him again, pleading his case. I quickly found the best delivery service in town. I quickly asked him,

"Hey, you wanna come over? Oh and please buy me something to eat, I'm starving!"