Bittersweet

This is what I have been saying - I cannot have it all. This email should explain it:

Dear Mr. Tristan Tan:

I am writing on behalf of the head of the Police Unit.

I am very pleased to inform you that based on the results of the competitive recruitment process and your natural charms, the senior management has selected you for the position of Super Slave. Shortly, we will coordinate your transfer with Human Resources.

We will give you a mind-blowing package that will be bigger, better and brighter than ever seen. You will be flown in from your country, first class, to the land of milk and honey. Here, hopefully, you will start anew.

Kindly discuss your release date with your master, and inform the Chief of Police of that date. If necessary, the Chief of Police will contact your master to negotiate an acceptable release date. We would like to bring you aboard within the next thirty days.

We are looking forward to you joining our superfreakinfabulous team.

Congratulations and best regards.