Reposted: A New Day, Again

Blogger's Note: I am reposting this blog that was first published last March 7. I pulled this out that same day. A blogger friend suggested that I wait a few more days. Now, the time has come. 

I used to do extemporaneous speeches when I was a kid. I remember that my trainer would always remind me never to start a speech by apologizing for something. I would assume that this could also apply to blogging. But today, I plan to break that rule (or just a part of it.).

"I am sorry."

I apologize for yesterday's emo posts and the one before that and the other one, and the other one - the ones that began with "A New Day". It was just that whenever I fall in love or at least experience a part of it, I would normally find myself expecting a little (or sometimes a lot from the other person) depending on the gravity of the conversations. I should probably follow's Joaqui's personal mantra this year: Everything light, No complications, No expectations, No frustrations. Light is just right.

In the last three weeks, I have fallen in love with someone and I expected that it could work. You know our story. He was my answered prayer. I fell in love. I thought he did too, well he said he did. Oh well, water under the bridge. 

By some twist of fate (and the heavens playing with me) and most likely influenced by his personal choices, something happened. I lost Bad Boy. He probably died the same way that Rustom did - from a plane crash (thanks McVie for the info). His remains cannot be found. He is missing in action. He is on AWOL. And I, the one who expected too much, had the worst birthday of my entire life, so far.

"Curiousity did not kill the cat, expectations did."

A cynical friend whom I tried to date a few months back commented on the possibility of being sad on my birthday. He said with his rather high-pitched telephone voice, 

"It's okay to be sad on your birthday, you have 364 more days in the year to be happy..."

I think he is right. Today, as I begin the first of the three hundred sixty four days before I hit thirty, I will strive to be happy, by myself. 

"You told me you would never want to hurt me. Well guess what, it was effortless."

I may still need closure from what happened with Bad Boy. I need to know what happened. Do you think BB Gandanghari would know? OMG, Bad Boy is probably with BB in Boracay? Shit.