My life now is already acceptable. I have a job and it pays the bills. I have my own place and it serves its purpose. I have a good network of friends and, quite importantly, fuck buddies who keep me company. My family is here. My life is here. This is my oyster, my own cocoon, my comfort zone.
I wanted to test my marketability so I applied elsewhere. Luckily (and as expected... LOL) I got in. Now this? Why did I choose this for myself? I really don't know. Maybe this is meant to be.
I am now trying to make sense of the new life that awaits me. I am already so confused with maps. I still can't figure out North, South, East and West. I am scouting for an apartment. I am extremely amazed at how expensive rent could be. I am puzzled by zip codes. I am scared of not being home for emergencies, holidays; of being alone during lonely days. I will surely miss my friends (and FBs). I have a lot of "what ifs". I am anxious of what might happen in the next few weeks. And, unfortunately, the worse part of all of this is that I am alone now and I feel alone.
Is this how things should be?Why do I need to do this?Did I make the right decision?Is this what I want?Is this what will make me happy?
Damn. So many questions, so alone.
9 stamps:
hay tristan it all boils down to our quest for happiness, the one that will keep the sea calm.
are you afraid you are going to regret this decision?
@dabo Oh well. The search continues. I am just afraid of what lies ahead.
The fear is understandable, and you should welcome it--matakot ka kung hindi ka kinakabahan! =)
But I think this is a fantastic opportunity not only professionally but also personally. Think of being "alone" and starting fresh in a new environment as a personal "reboot" or "restart"; you can build (or rebuild) a life anew. Not only that, being alone at the start forces you to be strong and rely on yourself first. Then as you gradually make new friends (and new FBs), you widen your new world.
Actually nakakainggit ka. =)
P.S. -- MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The word verification I got here is "manteat".
whatever happens just be grateful of whatever it leaves or makes you... for sure that would make you a better person...
goodluck, tristan!!
bloggers are full of unsolicited advice. here's something i learned: breakups are a wonderful way to be extremely selfish and get no flack about it.
take this time to do what you want to do. if it'll help you rebuild, why not diba?
bloghopped. nice page. blog on! :D
one perfect perfect pizza usually starts from scratch....
@joelmcvie Thanks. I plan to have a grand Bed night before I leave, among other beds. ;)
@wanderingcommuter Thanks, I know I will. Natatakot lang.
@CB Thanks for dropping by. I am following you now. ;)
@thegeek any chance I can meet you again before I go? Maybe in Bora end of April?
confirm your flight first...and ill confirm mine...hehehe
leap of faith. talon tristan. talon. who knows? someone is looking up and ready to catch you.
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