The Case of the Third Wheel

Have you ever felt that you played second fiddle to someone else? Have you ever been in a situation where you were the second choice? Have you been a mistress, the other (wo)man, the spare tire?

Well I have. But never at love. 

Yes, I have been the other man, the spare tire, the mistress but I never loved anyone of them back. I was just there for the pleasures of the flesh, nothing more. These guys thought that they were (uber powerful for) using me for their own interests but I have always looked at things the other way around. I used them for my own purposes. They served a purpose and that was why I chose to stay. And whenever I found myself falling for them, I bid them goodbye. I tried to stay away from the possibility of living a very complicated life, as much as possible.

While it may be true that I have fallen for a few unavailable guys on several occasions, it must be told that I have never allowed myself to be the third party in a relationship. Again, never when I am in love. More recently, I came so close to settling for that arrangement (just because I was really madly crazy in love with him) but I stopped myself. I saved the last ounce of self-respect that I have by forcing him into making a decision. And yes, his decision almost killed me but it never did. 

Before anyone here accuses me of being ultra self-righteous, please note that I have never judged others for choosing to be the second option. In fact, some of my closest friends are actually involved (in one way or another) in this type of arrangement. And they seem happy, seem being the operational word. I am sure that at the back of their minds (and often they end up confirming this), they are not fully satisfied with what they are getting from the apple of their eye (crotch or ass) - partial attention with half-baked affection. But, in reality, can we ever be fully satisfied with what we have?

At the end of the day (and I would preach this every single time to people who are going through tough times in their own relationships), what is important is that one is happy with what he or she has regardless of the arrangement. A third-party arrangement may not be perfect (and it will never be) but the decision to be in this type of relationship, much like falling in love, is a personal choice. 

The more important thing is that as long as these people are happy with their own spare tire arrangement (and as long as it works), then I will be happy for them. But the moment that things start getting shaky and my third-party friends find themselves crying over a failed attempt at love under this arrangement, I would be the first one slap them with their chosen reality.

Blogger's Note: Someone once told me that I can never be good enough to pass as his mistress. After some thought, I realized that, so far, this is the best compliment I have ever received.