But I am not yet ready. Twenty eight days before take off and there are still so many things to be done: driving lessons top the list. Then I would need to hit the gym to prep me for that hosting job by the end of the month. Damn I need to look good by then. Plus there are scheduled spa treatments, dental appointments, medical exams and one fantabulous trip to the salon! I also need to shop for stuff and pasalubongs and, of course, clothes. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Tonight, I started packing stuff and throwing things away. I now have a big black trash bag filled with old paper and other rubbish. But in the course of sorting through my stuff, I also found old pictures, gifts from ex-lovers and even love letters that brought me smiles in the past. I also stumbled upon goodbye letters that made me cry. I squeezed stuff toys that need a new home and cleaned up remnants of flower arrangements that I have not yet thrown away. All these memories were put in one big luggage waiting for its final destination.
I was almost done sorting another box when I heard myself humming the first lines of this song:
Before I even had the chance to go emo, I saw somebody's picture on my phone. Looking at his gorgeous face made made me realize that there was indeed no sense in wallowing in the past - only the future matters now. I looked at his picture one more time and smiled.
At that point, I found myself staring at the luggage-full of memories. I shook my head, took out all the stuff I had earlier sorted and threw them all in a black trash bag for disposal. One night, two big garbage bags. I think I did well.
So this is how it feels like to let go.
18 stamps:
liberating!;-)
naku baka nasa DC ako in Oct ;-) mag aral ka na mag drive para may drievr ako dun. lol!
soon to come: Tristan's reincarnation. oh wait. you are reloaded na. d'oh.
this is a start of something new indeed. though, i did clean my drawers 2 days ago but i still don't have the guts and throw away my first bf's picture and an old necklace one of my suitors gave me. hmm. i just really have a hard time of letting things go i guess..
28 days to go. *SIGH* I'll miss you :(
hi. ayos tong post na to.. melancholic. very emotional. :D
i had a familiar post din like this. minus the love factor. never had. lol
http://fixing-yas.blogspot.com/2009/04/empty-room-and-taxi-ride-home.html
addio, frater.
'Yas
i admire your courage of letting go. kudos.
good luck to wherever your "one-way ticket" will take you.
haaay ang sarap ng feeling ng bagong linis. at masarap mag emo. wag na ikaila. hehe minsan kailangan natin yan.
sorry kanina. busy sa class. i barely had 2 seconds to myself. well, you'll see sa latest post ko. super bad day. bawi ako next time.
Some people let go like dropping tissue after you've sneezed on it.
For those who are not the letting-go type, it's an ordeal. And it doesn't have to be.
This letting go thing is a recent invention and I strongly suspect this to be another ploy of the Catholic church to separate people from their money. Choz. Let go, let God... (insert suitable litany about wordly possesions here).
There is no finality to a relationship, and you never really let go of people you decide to never see again. They're there, lurking in your mind and weighing you down.
Some baggage you're doomed to lug all your life. Yes, there will be check in counters but sooner or later you'll have to surrender the tag and claim them. You'll go through a chain of check-in counters and if you have a colorful life you won't over run out of them. But you'll have to claim them, all of them, sooner or later.
So take them home, all of them, and find a place in your house for each. Don't let other people touch them! They're yours! Stake a claim to all the baggage you'll be accumulating for the next three fifths of your life and stamp all of them with big bold letters. MINE! Private property of...
Yours, yes, but please leave them home so you're not juggling them every effing essing emming day of your life.
LET IT GO? Can you ever?
Channel Lennon and LET IT BE.
Eeeeeewwww... I sound like an advice columnist.
*hugs*
Shucks, less than 1 month na lang. :(
Hope I'll be back in Manila to say goodbye.
safe trip!
@MkSUrf8 bongga ka, sa DC ka pa magpapakita sa kin! Wooohooo sige lalabas tayo. :)
@Herbs D. Ganun talaga.
@ElYAS slight lang. Sige basahin ko. :)
@Jamir salamat.
@CB Don't worry, I understand. OO naman masarap mag-emo. Pero minsan nakakasuka naman kasi talaga. :) Hugs for you and a kiss too.
@Anonimous kakaloko ang advice na ito pero it make sense talaga to keep them. Ang problema ko pakialamera ang nanay ko at for sure bubuksan nya yun. hahaha. Let me find a friend who can keep them for me. Hmmm. Or ibigay ko na lang kay Jollibee.
@rubypurple when are you back my dear?
@Knoxxy salamat po.
I am genuinely happy for you tristan. :) Kaya mo yan. :) Good Luck.
hope to see you 20 minutes before take off....hehehe
WOW! Everyone's emigrating. And I haven't even seen Tristan Tan in the flesh. ;)
@Theo Martin Salamat po. Pakita ka na sa kin. :P
@the geek 20 minutes before? Sasali ka pa sa trend na "a day before you leave, i will see you.." ampucha. :P
@Lukayo Madali akong kausap. Nyark, ang landi ko. LOL. :)
This post gave me goosebumps. Really.
Aalis ka na nga tristan, ni hindi man lang tayo nagkita-kita. Habulin ko ang june 11, sana makauwi ako. hehehe.
Ingat lagi!
was touched by the post and the song...
yay
"Only by letting go, can we truly possess what is real"- Chow Yun-Fat (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
@Doc Mike don't worry my friend, we will meet soon.
@Mink I am glad you liked it. :)
thats the saddest to do in this life
hayst buhay nga naman sometimes you have to let go of someone because mahal mo sya and the rest is history
its nice to be here in your site
I wasn't referring to souvenirs and letters and stuff like that... this guy o.
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