Reality Check

I know I promised you a love letter but this is the closest thing I have so far. In it, you'd never read grand declarations of love or well-thought-of romantic verses. There are no promises attached nor humanly impossible commitments. Instead, what I have here are just realities served on a plate of reason.

In the past few days, I have come to realize that I must really be in love with you, in spite of and despite of. It seems to be a fact that I cannot run away from. I tried but I kept on being drawn back to you. I know it has no logical basis; no reason but it's just what I feel. I love you and that's it. It's crazy. And now, I have allowed myself to love you from a distance.

But the sad thing is, we are faced with certain realities. Pure reason would dictate that it would be such a waste of time and emotions to deal with you, especially now that we are worlds apart and have our own lives to live.

Even if we still have it.

Even if we still care.

Even if there is still hope.

It pains me to let go of the possibility of a happy ending. It kills me to even think that our ever after could never be attained. I find it difficult to just give up - it is so unfair. I hate the fact that I cannot do anything; that I am helpless. I am weakened by the fact that I love you, again, in spite of and despite of.

And now I am scared. I am terrified to admit to myself that a "we" may never form part of our reality.

Even if I love you.

Even if I care.

Even if I wonder.

But I am still taking my chances. Hopefully, by some odd twist of fate, a reality based on our realities will materialize. And maybe, just maybe, we'd soon find ourselves happy.