Red

The next thing I remember - I was walking aimlessly.
I had no direction.
My chest felt heavy. I can barely breathe.
The world was a blur.

The sun was shining and breeze was cool.
But I felt cold. My hands were trembling.
I can feel my eyes warm up.
Tears were starting to form.

I had lost control over myself, again.
I walked and walked some more.
I looked back and everything was still a blur.
I looked up. The light was red. So is my shirt. Bloody as my heart.

I stopped -
Breathed in the cool summer air.
Tears were still forming in the corner of my eyes.
I am sure they were already red, much like my shirt, just like my heart.

I grabbed my phone.
I had to call someone else I'd just crack.
I dialled a number.
It was a familiar voice. A friend.

The moment he said hello was the moment my tears flowed.
And people started to notice.
I quickly turned around and walked the other way.
Nobody needed to know.

I found a spot.
And that was when I had the courage to spill.
"Hindi ko na kaya...", I told the friend.
"Sorry, hindi ko na talaga kaya...", I repeated several times.

Obviously, the friend had been awaken from sleep.
But he listened. Much as I expected. Something I needed.
And he listened some more.
Tears flowed freely, finally... again.

Thank God for friends who sleep so little.
Salamat kaibigan, alam mo kung sino ka.
I could never have gone through that alone again, salamat.
At ngayon, gaya ng dati at inaasahan, kaya ko na.

To the world, he was just a man wearing red; crying by the curb.
Nobody knows his story.
To them, he's just a man whose eyes were as red as his shirt
What they don't know is that his heart is as broken as the boy who broke him, again.