Bunso

I had to warm up the water and bring it to the room where a stranger was prepping my mom for childbirth - yes, Nanay decided to give birth at home because we were already cash-strapped when you were being conceived. And, if I am not mistaken, it was Thursday around six in the morning when I first heard the cry - it would be first of many years of incessant crying in our extremely cramped house. I remember I left the house that day, smiling - I had to go to class and I was late. I was Kuya, once again.

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I carried you in my arms. I changed your diapers countless times. I prepared your bottle and bought your milk. I gave you your medicines and wiped your behind. We'd even take a bath together (which I hated, for the record, since I could not really jerk, haha). I cleaned up your mess, much like how I cleaned up after everyone else. We'd watch cartoons together (up until the night I left) and yes, we loved "Cow and Chicken". I loved Cow, you adored Chicken (you later outgrew them, I did not, haha).

You would always choose to be with me - hide behind Kuya for tickle-protection - and you'd tell me stories - lots of them - all computer or cartoon-related. And I, I would always listen (or at least I'd pretend to be interested in hearing why this robot is more powerful than the other one, etc. etc.).

I spoiled you just because I wanted to - I wanted you to be able to enjoy the things that I never got to enjoy growing up. Whatever money I had left was used to buy you junk food which you loved. We'd have McDonald's breakfast every weekend - we love hash browns and their longanisa meal. And of course, the toys - Zoids and countless of other gadgets and gizmos that ate up a large part of my then-pitiful government salary. But, just seeing you smile every single time you open your pasalubongs and gifts was enough to make me happy. You made our Christmases really happy.

You enjoyed sleeping beside me and there were times - when you were still small - on my tummy - and everyone else in the house would be extremely jealous. I would often wake up with you hugging me. I would kiss you on the cheeks, ever so softly so as not to wake you up. When you do, you'd scratch your nose, let go, turn around and kick me wherever - your eyes still closed - and then you'd hug me again and we'd simmer in bed until brunch is served.

I must admit, Nanay is probably right (just don't tell her) - we may just as well be twins separated by fifteen years. I can really see myself in you - and so far, you're on the right track - on a better track even. Nanay and Tatay may have already learned from their mistakes - they have become better parents after me. Praktisado na sila, haha. But, I wish you'd realize that in spite of our similarities, we are really different from each other. This is a good thing, trust me. I would not wish my life on you - wag mo ko gayahin - Kuya is not all that. Make the most out of your life - harness your potentials - I'll be behind you.

Kuya is away on your birthday this year - the first time that I'll be missing this since that fateful Thursday morning, fifteen years ago. I hope you have a good one - and yes, sagot ko lahat.

Happy Birthday Bunso. I wish I was there. Miss ka na ng Kuya.