The Invitation Says Casual

Somebody's gonna get laid soon
Very soon... by someone he actually likes
Unfortunately, this someone
Is already someone else's boy

Somebody's gonna get laid soon
Very soon... but he's scared
He's scared to fall in love
Because he himself is taken

Somebody's gonna get laid soon
Very soon... but I am sure
Somebody's gonna get hurt
And this somebody's my friend.


And so I write - for the sake of a friend; for the sake of others who may find themselves in the same situation in the near future; for those who are currently in the shit hole; and for those who just have nothing better to do on a weekend but read my blog. Thank you.

They say that men are genetically configured to have sex without feelings. Gay men therefore should have this magnificent build (version 1.0) within them. But here's the twist, gay men are just that - gay and sometimes our "sex with feelings" self comes to the fore. I have met a few people with this drama - "I will not have sex with someone I don't love." Puta ka, arte mo! Haha.

Sex with love is really fancy, warm and fuzzy but not everyone is in love. Many people are just too single to be in love or too jaded to be in a relationship while others are just simply afraid to trust someone else - and that is sad. So here is where casual sex comes to play - it's easy, fuss-free and cut & dry.

How is it possible to have sex with someone without feelings? How does one actually do it?

First off - remind yourself where, how and why you met the person. Legend has it that once, before the internet, people actually go out on dates to meet other people whom they met through common friends, on the street, in a bookstore - you get the drift. Then they have sex. Now, many of us meet guys online. I am not saying this is bad - I have met some nice guys online. But, seriously, if you meet someone in a sex chatroom; in a gay hook up site; or anything that's closely associated with the words "gay" or "sex" , then there's not really much hope.

One may alway argue that sometimes, people are just there to meet people - and not really to hook up. Oh come on - provided that this contention is remotely true, it will forever remain as the exception and not the rule.

And even if you met through "legit" means, ask him if what you have between you two horny dicks is just plain and casual sex - because if it's casual that he wants, it's casual that he should get.

So what does one do when faced with the inevitable?

I say to you in the words of my uncle (Iron Chef? LOL) - go with the flow. Casual sex - less complications. Even if the boytoy is attached - it's just casual anyway. Nothing permanent. Nothing concrete. No strings attached. Simple. Carnal. Easy. But never fall in love. How? Here are some practical tips:

Never engage in conversations beyond the required - ASL, role and dick size. Yes, you can ask them where they went to school; what they do for a living; and the likes. No family stories. No status questions beyond - "do you have a boyfriend?" - either way, it's casual anyway.

No food should be consumed before or after the deed, unless of course it is part of the whole game. Consuming alcoholic drinks are fine but remember tip number 1. Your meet up is not a date. Coffee or anything else that resembles a date after the deed is never a good idea.

In bed, kissing is always optional. Condoms are necessary. Spit don't swallow. But for you - as promised, along with everything else- I will. TMI. LOL. Joint showers are just too... cheesy but if you want play pretend-intimacy then fine, pretend all the way but just make sure you end it the moment he leaves your apartment. Cuddle if you must but please, whatever happens, even if he takes you sky high beyond your wildest dreams and outside the solar system, NEVER EVER say "I love you.". Umayos ka.

No repeats. But, if you enjoyed it, cut yourself some slack. NEVER make the first call after the deed. And when he does call you - you can always say NO if you're not in the mood or for that wonderful "pa-hard to get" effect.

And finally, NEVER say "thank you" for casual sex - "You don't say thank you for effin me... pause for effect... you...don't... say... thank... you...for... effin... me....".

There - all set.

Goodluck.