Adik

Oist Adik, remember the day you said goodbye? You had wanted to see me before I left for the states but my schedule was always crazy. A couple of days before I left, we finally agreed to meet. It was the day I found out your real name - the hotel's front desk had just called me a few minutes earlier telling me that you were at the lobby, waiting to be let in.

A few minutes later, you were at my door. I can still remember how you smiled - you like showing your teeth. But then, I saw your eyes mist up.

"Adik, mamimiss kita...", you finally said.

"Adik, naiiyak ako pucha...", you continued.

"Ano ka ba? Bawal umiyak.", I replied.

You said it was tough for you to see me go since I was, after all. your only regular FB. What you did not know was that it was tough for me too - you were my favorite FB (at least that's what I say to everyone. Haha). But seriously, you were one of my favorites - my trusty FB who stayed with me through thick and thin - in good times and in bad - threesomes and all that - until we run out of condoms. You have been with me for four years and that's even a longer span of time than all of my relationships combined.

That day, you finally told me who you were - where you went to school - what you did - where you lived - what you are. It was only then that I had known the real you - the one you deliberately hid from me for years. All my hunches were correct - matalino ka nga talagang tao. It has crossed my mind that we could have been good together but every time one of us brings it up, we'd always find ourselves rationalizing why it was not a good idea. At the most, we'd always end up agreeing that we're better off as friends.

"Wag natin sirain ang moment by having sex...", you suggested.

"Ayoko nga. Aalis na nga lang ako, wala pang sex.", I said.

We laughed.

"And I'm sure tinitigasan ka na... manyak ka eh.", I continued.

I was right.

"So san tayo?", you asked.

I led the way. It was destined to be the most memorable fuck we'd ever have. That night, we kissed for the first time - and it was perfect.

"Ayan ah, may kiss na...", you said.

And that made me giggle almost to the point of losing my erection.

"Hindi naman kailangan e.", I said.

"Wala lang...", you replied.

The marathon took a while. It was fun.

"Oist adik...", you said as I was dressing up.

"May ibibigay ako sa yo ah... paborito ko to ah...", you explained.

"Ano yun?", I asked.

You handed me a scarf. You told me that this should keep me warm during the first few days of fall and winter and that I should think of you when I wear it.

"Adik, pa-picture ka pag suot mo to ah...", you told me.

I was my turn to get teary-eyed.

"Oo naman... lika nga dito...", I said as I gave him a hug.

"Tama na adik, papaiyakin mo ko eh.. basta wag mo ko kalimutan ah...", he finally said as we let go.

Adik was texting me until I boarded the plane. We kept in touch even when I got here. The last time we spoke, he had told me that he had been sexless since I left, by choice. He wanted to go straight. Ayaw daw nya kung kani-kanino lang. Ang ganda ko. Haha.

While I was in New York over the weekend, I finally got the chance to wear the scarf that he gave me. And yes, I remembered Adik. Tinigasan ako, actually. Haha. But beyond that, I felt a little sad. I haven't heard from Adik since the Ondoy flood - he lives in Pasig and I am pretty sure that his place was affected. I have tried calling him; even sent several messages but he has not responded yet. Sadly, no one knows of us so I am clueless how to get through to him. I wish he's doing ok.

"Oist adik - eto na picture o..."