Pinoy Big Boner

It was cold outside - really cold and it was raining. It was cold but I was in heat.

"26, Asian, 5'7, 125lbs, looking for some action tonight...", says his ad.

I was interested. I took a quick guess - Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai. But, my gut is telling me he was a Pinoy. With a hunch and exquisite typing skills, I drafted a quick note and pondered on what picture to attach. Blame it on the booze that I had earlier that night, I felt a little gutsy. I finally decided to send an uncovered me (Blogger's Note: yes, mamatay kayo sa inggit! haha).

I heard my email tone a few minutes later.

"Jakcpot!", I replied.

There before me was a picture - hmm... I was excited. I drafted another email, attached a more wholesome picture and a note asking for his location and whether he would be willing to brave the cold and rain and come to my place for a random encounter.

Silence.

"Shit, bokya ata...", I was worried.

But my hunch was really strong. He actually looked Filipino but I was still uncertain - he may be Malaysian or Thai? My EQ went down the drain. I decided to send another one-liner.

"By any chance, are you Filipino?"

Finally an email came through.

"Yeah..., you?", he replied.

I wanted him more. I sent him a number.

"Call me, let's talk."

He called.

"Pucha, slang...", I mumbled.

"How long have you lived here?", I asked.

"Since 95...", he replied.

And a few more of the pleasantries. But, I could feel hesitation from his end - apparently, my place is a good 40-minute drive from where he lived. I rolled my eyes.

"Langya naman o...", I mumbled.

I am the sweetest talker when I am most horny. The poor boy did not have a chance - he did not realize what would hit him in the next few minutes.

"Patay ka sa kin bata ka...", I whispered.

Just as I expected, a few minutes later, he was on the way.

"Haha... Pinoy boys are so predictable..."

When he got to my apartment, I handed him a car pass. He parked. He was silent. He remained silent all the way to my apartment. His hands in his pocket. I tried to make him comfortable. He was stiff - and not in a good way. I was a little disappointed.

"Hay naku, kahit kelan talaga - maarte ang Pinoy.", I whispered.

I took charge. I think that's what he wanted.

"Oh...", I gasped.

It was a very happy surprise.

Blogger's Note: Not too long ago, a very charming blogger asked me to confirm if US-born/bred Pinoys really do have bigger dickies than their local counterparts. I gave him my expert opinion based on my own studies. And now, recent evidence suggests that my earlier findings are still accurate - my latest conquest is most definitely a Pinoy Big Boner.