Love, Lust and Life Lessons

In the last year or so, I have fallen in love twice. Yes, twice and the world knows about it. Both instances, I have learned things that I sort of knew before but just refused to acknowledge. I am acknowledging them now.

I am slowly getting my groove back and someone's actually making me smile again. Pretty soon, I know I'd write love letters again and pine over romance, true love and happily ever after. But before I go crazy once more, I need to remind myself what I have learned so far (in no particular order of importance). These will, hopefully, spare me (and whoever) unnecessary heartaches in the future.

1. Never start with your best foot forward. Just be yourself. It's up to the other person if he can live with you and your flaws. If he can't, then it was not a good match to begin with. You may be better off as fuck buddies.

2. Disappointment is inevitable especially when dating.

3. Not everyone is built to date. Some people just have no sweet bone in their body. Learn to live with this or move on.

4. Lower expectations. If you can actually come with no expectations (as if that's ever possible!) then it's better.

5. Never force yourself to fall in love. That's why it's called falling, you have no control. You cannot throw yourself off the cliff and enjoy the fall at the same time, right? Unless of course you are bungee jumping.

6. Rebounds never work.

7. Never fall in love with a stranger. Needless to say, it is important to get to know the person well - get to know them first.

8. Take the other person seriously. Jokes are always half-meant.

9. Accept the fact that both of you have a past.

10. Never ever take someone's past against him.

11. Labels are necessary. I need to know who I am in your life. I will let you know who you are in mine. We then take it from there.

12. People have feelings - even the greatest of sluts.

13. If you need to end it with someone, grow some balls and tell them personally. Don't just disappear - this shows a lot about how weak you are as a person.

14. Communication is essential. Men are not mind-readers. Speak up or forever hold your peace.

15. Love is overrated. Sex is overrated. Commitment is underrated - it is really very tough.

16. It is never a good idea to fall in love when you still believe that you are confused. Deal with your confusion first - I am not a shrink.

17. Long distance relationships do not work. Lack of sex is almost always the problem. Constant physical intimacy is necessary.

18. Never promise forever. In the same vein, "best, most, and worst" should never be used in a sentence referring to your partner. You just never know if you'd need to use them to describe someone else.

19. Sex is a give and take activity. If you can't make the other person happy in bed, he will most definitely seek happiness elsewhere.

20. Finally, remember to never say thank you for sex - it is not a favor to you or to anybody.

So there. Tandaan mo. Wag matigas ang ulo.