On Hook Ups, Introspection and a Stick of Frost

I just cant force myself to do it anymore. Since I moved to the city over the weekend, I have received at least fifty emails from fifty different people asking me to hook up. I now think that my profile and my lovely picture works. Haha. I think I may have responded to 10 just because they were so irresistable. All of them probably thought that it would work out and that they could get a piece of this Asian ass. *Happy Thoughts* But, I have decided to postpone all meet ups until I am certain of something - that yes, I have indeed changed.

There were several blacks with humongous dickies. A few jocks whom I know could tickle my fancy. A handful Europeans boys who are so tempting. And even a Russian/Arab guy who looks so godly. But, every night, for the last three nights, I just find myself on my balcony, with a stick of Frost, looking at the city below me asking myself one thing: is this the life I want?

Turning in, I know I still do not have the answers. I just know these: that I want peace, peace of mind and yes world peace. I want to go home at night knowing fully well that someone's waiting for me. I want to know that at end of each day, no matter how shitty it has been, that I will never feel alone. I just need someone to talk to. I need someone who could make feel alive; make me laugh, make me cry, make me horny. I need someone who could satisfy my soul and keep me grounded. I need someone who could keep the hope alive.

Maybe it's just me and the weather. Or perhaps, the changes in the season. Maybe it's me turning another year older in a few weeks. Or maybe it's me ready to leave my old life behind for something real. Maybe, I just have too much drama in my life. Maybe I just need to really get laid again. Or maybe, I just need to find myself a gorgeous naked maid.