Status: FB

"Hey, it was nice meeting you Tristan."

"Likewise. Take care and I'll see you around.", pamamaalam ko sa kanya.

Isinara ko ang pinto. Nag-double lock and went straight to the balcony. I saw him get out of the apartment building a few minutes later. He hailed a cab and went on his way home. Then my phone beeped. I took out my phone from my pocket and checked the message.

"You were great.", ang sabi nya sa text.

Napangiti ako. I lighted my Frost. Napaisip ako muli: is this the life I want? I felt the wind blow on my face. Gininaw na naman ang ilong ko. Malamig talaga kasi these days sa city. Giniginaw na nga pati itlog ko. I took another puff, tumingin sa malayo at napabuntong hininga.

"Ayan ka na naman..."

I told myself that I won't do it. I promised myself change. Napaisip ako ng mas malalim. Naalala ko lahat ng naganap ng gabing nagdaan. Napangiti ako. Who would not? Hindi ko talaga akalain. I never thought it was even possible that he would look my way. But, he did. And he practically begged to meet me. Ang haba ng hair ko.

***

Anthony is in his mid-twenties. He's a black guy who stands six feet. Athletic-built at bespectacled. Cute ang black-rimmed glasses nya, bumagay sa kanya. And he had nice teeth and piercing eyes. He told me that he's American daw pero born in Germany, raised in Italy, Spain, Mexico at kung saan saan pa. He was very well-traveled kasi naman militar ang tatay. May pinag-aralan. Cultured pa. He works in DC sa isang restaurant... manager ata. Mukhang libre ang dessert ko nito pag nagkataon. Haha. Anyway, naaliw naman ako sa kanya. Napalaban pa nga ako ng slang. He told me he wanted to keep me company that night. Gusto daw nya may makausap, eh dahil wala na din naman akong kausap lately, nakipagusap na din ako. Ganyan talaga pag free.

He asked me if he could come over. I was hesitant at first. Nagtanong pa nga ako online sa isang kaibigan kung dapat ko bang gawin to. Ang bruha supportive sa career ko. Haha. I was hesitant because I know, in my mind, I was not yet ready. Mahina pa ang paninindigan ko. I was still vulnerable. I knew I had already changed. Hindi na din ako sanay. Malinis na kasi ako.

"It's up to you...", ang text nya sa kin.

Kinabahan ako. I needed to make a quick decision. Bahala na si Batman. Sarili ko na lang naman dapat ang iniisip ko. Ganyanan na kasi ngayon. Yan na ang uso.

"How soon can you be here?", ang matapang na sagot ko.

Lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

A few minutes later, pagbukas ko ng pinto, tumambad sa kin si Anthony. He looked better than his picture. At mukha syang mabango. In fact, mabango nga sya talaga. I offered him a bottle of beer... at ang aking alindog. Haha. Joke lang, hindi pa. In between laughters, he would look at me in the eyes. Ako naman lampasan ang tingin because thoughts were running in my head.

"FB FB FB...", I kept repeating to myself.

"So Tristan, are you dating anyone?", he asked.

Nagulat ako sa tanong nya. Hindi ako prepared. Napangiti ako.

"No...."

And then he smiled.

"FB FB FB...", inulit ulit ko sa sarili ko.

"Hanggang FB lang ako... hanggang FB lang ako... FB lang ako...", I said as I tried to convince myself.

Pero dahil polite ako, I asked him the same question. Single din daw sya. At sya lang daw ang single sa mga kabarkada nya. At dahil Valentine's na, he's feeling the pressure. Natawa ako. Pati pala sa America may mga taong nagpapanic dating. Haha.

I broke the ice.

"Do you still wanna mess around?", I asked.

He looked at me and kissed me ever so passionately on the lips.

"This is it..", bulong ko sa sarili ko.

***

I heard my phone beep again. It was another message from him.

"Do you think we could meet up again soon?"

I looked at my phone again. I took another puff at my cigarette and looked out into the horizon. Tinanong ko ulit ang sarili ko, "is this the life I want?". Naalala ko ang mga nangyari. Naalala ko si Anthony at ang kanyang matitigas na braso... ang mahaba nyang ano... daliri... at ang maugat nyang... paa. LOL.

"Sure... just keep in touch."