I Remember the Boy

I was browsing through old posts when I came across someone's dead blog. Wherever it is, may it rest in peace. It was his blog... As far as the blogger is concerned, it has been almost a year since our lives have intertwined - a lot has happened since. Needless to say, I was reminded of the boy but, the thing is, I barely know him anymore. Truth is, I don't really know him, period.

I can't even remember the hurt, I just remember the boy and who he was a year ago. I think I must have finally gotten over it. Congratulations to me. I don't cringe anymore when I see his name. I don't freak out when I remember what happened. I still dream of him from time to time - don't ask me how but I do - and that's just about there is to it. Probably, because we never got to meet.

A year after all the drama, I think I have become a different person. I have learned to somehow separate my online alter ego from my offline person. I have learned how to stop typing what I think (and feel) all the time. I have learned to hold back. I have learned to think before saying anything. I finally understood self-restraint - somehow. I have minimized drama (minimize, not eliminate). I also learned how to live for the moment - that I cannot always plan for the future.

I learned that karma is indeed digital. I learned that we do not always get what we want. I learned that love is a two-way street. I learned that love is not always enough. I learned that some stories do not have happy endings. I learned that there are no shortcuts to friendship - no matter how much you claim that you will be friends forever. I learned that the truth has an expiration date. I learned that I could really keep the secrets worth keeping.

I have become less trusting - which, for me, is a good thing. I have been more realistic when it comes to expectations. I have become less confrontational. I learned to accept that, most of the time, good things never last. I learned that the best way to get over someone is to shut up and deal with things by yourself. I learned that I am much stronger than I think I am.

Since I am just about ready to board a homebound plane, I can't help but wonder if we'd finally be able to meet. I am not counting on it - and maybe it would never happen in this lifetime but, it would sure be nice to catch up over a friendly cup of coffee.

Hey Bad Boy, what do you think?