Kumag

Remember Kumag?

Yes, he was one of the boys I left behind in Manila. Little did I know that he had developed something for me over the last two years that we've hung out. But, that's an old story. We have, however, remained good friends. We'd still chat from time to time so we've been quite updated with each other's lives.

Recently, he has been online more often than usual and he'd always be the first one to send me a message. Today was a little special - he invited me to view his webcam. He still looked the same - cute pa din. He said he was in school waiting for his next class. We started with the usual banter which led to some plans. It was going well but something was bothering me. I just had to ask the question.

"Kumag, may boyfriend ka na?"

Silence. He looked serious on camera. I had my po-po-poker face on.

"Bakit mo tinatanong?", he asked.

"I just want to know."

Silence. I maintained my po-po-poker face.

"Yeah, meron."

I did not know what to say. I tried to hide what I felt - I felt a little sad. My little kumag had already moved on. I pretended not to care. I continued chatting with him, smiling from time time, even. He then showed me his boyfriend's picture. Naman.

"Well then... goodluck senyo...", I told him.

"O bakit goodluck?", he asked.

"Eh ano sasabihin ko, congratulations?"

I faked a laugh. He must have felt that I wasn't being myself.

"Wag kang magtampo ka sakin Tristan. Wala naman akong itinago sa yo eh... saka wala naman tayo pinag-usapan..."

He was right. I was unable to reply.

"Oo, mahal kita pero asan ka? Di ba bigla ka na lang umalis? Ano gusto mo gawin ko?"

Whoa. Where did that come from? But again, he was right. It was indeed selfish of me to expect people to stay the same. I know that I am not the same person, too.

"I understand kumag, it's okay. I'd just see you when I get home. Paalam ka ah."

I must admit, I still have some hang ups over my old (and more exciting) life in Manila but, things have changed. I have changed. Everyone has moved on, myself included and it's time to leave the past behind. My upcoming trip will end it.